When the Job Ends, Who Are You?

Recently, I caught up with a former colleague and friend at an event. As we talked about where life had taken us, our conversation turned to something many people experience but perhaps don't talk about enough: the loss of identity that can come when a long held career or role ends.

It reminded me of something that happened recently.

I was in my local bank when a man I knew through the community approached me. I had been overseas travelling for several months and hadn't been around town much.

He asked how I was, and we chatted briefly. Then he waited while I finished my banking and came over to me.

"I've got this event, Jeanette, and I was wondering whether you could help me with it."

I realised he thought I still worked for the local council, a position I had left more than six months earlier.

When I explained that I no longer worked there, he looked surprised and replied: "Well, I don't need to talk to you anymore." And he walked away.

I had two very different reactions.

My first was relief. Good. I have done my time.

For ten years, I had worked closely with the community. When you live and work in a regional community, the boundaries between your professional and personal identity can become blurred. People know you as the person who can help. The person who knows who to call. The person who can advocate, organise, solve a problem or make something happen.

There was something freeing about no longer carrying that responsibility.

But there was another reaction. It hurt a little.

For a moment I thought, Was my position the only reason I mattered to this person? Without the job title, was I suddenly less interesting, less useful or less important?

We are more than our job titles

My friend and I had both spent years working in community and not-for-profit organisations. Like many people in these sectors, we regularly did far more than our job descriptions required because we cared about the organisations and communities we served.

Over time, what we did became closely connected to who we were.

Then something changes. You resign. Retire. Are made redundant. Your organisation restructures. Your children leave home. You move somewhere new. A relationship changes. Or you simply realise that the career that once fitted you doesn't fit anymore.

Suddenly, the familiar answer to "What do you do?" disappears. And underneath that question is a much bigger one: Who am I now?

That can be confronting, particularly after decades in the workforce. But perhaps losing an old professional identity isn't simply a loss. Perhaps it is an opportunity to consciously create the next one.

From "What was my job?" to "What do I bring?"

I have more than 30 years of professional experience across different industries, organisations, communities, projects and roles. Yet in any individual job, people probably see only a fraction of that experience.

They see the position you hold today. They may not see the qualifications you have accumulated, the difficult situations you have navigated, the people you have developed, the events you have delivered, the problems you' have solved, the relationships you have built or the wisdom you have gained along the way.

Your job title is not your identity. It is simply one place where you have used some of your capabilities.

Rather than asking, "What job can I get next?" we can start asking, "What knowledge, values and experience do I want to take into the next stage of my life?"

Seven ways to rebuild your career identity

1. Separate your identity from your position

Write down your previous job title. Then put it aside. Now ask yourself: What did I actually bring to that role? Perhaps you were a connector, leader, organiser, problem solver, advocate, mentor, negotiator, creator or trusted adviser. Those capabilities belonged to you, not your employer.

2. Take an inventory of your experience

Don't only list qualifications and positions. Ask yourself: What problems have I repeatedly been asked to solve? What do people naturally come to me for? What am I particularly good at? What experiences have shaped my judgement? What have I learned that could benefit someone else? You may discover a professional story much bigger than your resume suggests.

3. Revisit your values

Career transitions give us the opportunity to ask questions we may not have had time to consider while we were busy working. What matters to me now? What kind of people do I want around me? What work gives me satisfaction? What am I no longer prepared to tolerate? What contribution do I still want to make?

4. Decide what you want to leave behind

Identity isn't only about deciding what you want more of. It can also mean deciding what you have finished with. There is power in saying: I have done that. I contributed. I learned from it. And I don't need to carry it into the next chapter. That isn't failure. It is growth.

5. Learn to communicate your value

How do you talk about yourself without feeling as though you're bragging? Replace bragging with evidence. Instead of saying, 'I am an exceptional leader,' talk about the teams you have developed. Instead of saying, 'I'm an expert problem solver,' explain a problem you solved and what changed as a result. You don't need to make yourself bigger. You need to become clearer about the value you already bring.

6. Experiment with the next version of yourself

You don't have to have your entire future worked out. Try things. Study something new. Mentor someone. Volunteer. Consult. Start a small business. Join a professional network. Take on a project. Travel. Write. Teach. Coach. Sometimes purpose isn't discovered through thinking. It emerges through doing.

7. Ask: Who do I want to become?

Perhaps the most powerful question isn't: Who am I? It is: Who do I want to become now? For the first time in many years, you may have the opportunity to consciously choose.

Creating my own next chapter

For me, that next chapter is increasingly about coaching and working for myself. I want greater control over the quality and purpose of the work I undertake and the people I work with.

Coaching also reflects something I have valued throughout my career: helping people explore deeper questions, recognise their capabilities and turn insight into action. It isn't about telling someone who they should become. It is about creating the space for them to work it out for themselves.

What matters to me? What do I want? What am I good at? What do I want my contribution to be? Who do I want to work with? What does success look like for me now? And what action am I prepared to take to get there?

You haven't lost your identity - you're redefining it

Leaving a long term career can feel unsettling because the external markers of identity disappear: the title, the organisation, the status, the familiar responsibilities, even the people who once needed something from you.

But underneath those things remains decades of experience, knowledge, relationships, resilience, values and capability.

Perhaps career transition isn't about trying to get your old identity back. It's about deciding which parts of it you want to keep - and having the courage to create the rest.

So if you are standing between what you used to do and whatever comes next, consider these questions: What am I ready to leave behind? What do I want to carry forward? What matters to me now? What value can I offer others? And who do I want to become in this next chapter?

Sometimes losing a title is exactly what allows us to discover the person who was underneath it all along.

How coaching can help

Career transition can be exciting, but it can also leave you questioning your direction, confidence and professional identity.

Coaching provides a structured space to explore your values, experience, strengths and aspirations, and then turn those insights into practical actions.

If you're navigating a career transition, considering what's next, or simply asking yourself, "Who am I now?", I would welcome the opportunity to have that conversation with you.

Jeanette Seignior
Business & Personal Leadership Coaching

Contact

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Email: hello@jeanetteseignior.com

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